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When I was a boy, I couldn't go out like my other friends. My mom always used to tell me "you should't be outside with those kids, you could be doing something more productive instead". I used to think "If you just would let me live my life..." but i never said a word.
When I was 15, my mom died and I know I shouldn't take that as a pretext of what I did with my life. I remember that I started smoking and drinking (like my other friends) and when I was 17 i became addicted to heroin. Then my friends started telling me "You ought to stop partying all day, you look like crap" But I never listened to them, I knew I could die but I didn't really care. One day, I went to a party with my girlfriend, she loved me although I didn't deserve that, and I remember I got really drunk there. She told me I couldn't even stay still, so she would drive me back home. I told her "I'm ok, I can drive, you need to relax" and she looked really nervious but she didn't say a word.
When I was driving, something inside my head told me "You shouldn't be driving... You could have an accident and you're with your girlfriend... You ought to stop at the side of the freeway and let her drive" But once again, I didn't listen. I'm not sure of what happened next. I just remember I got knocked out and my head was bleeding so bad... But I didn't worry about myself, I started to call my girlfriend, I didn't know where she was... She whispered "I'm here... I'm ok" and when I could stand up, I followed her voice and found her. She looked really bad, that's when I realised I had to change... I started to pray for her, She just told me "You need to change, You can't live like this anymore... I might die, I think I will, but you'll be fine... Just take care and would you do me a favor?" I didn't say a word... She whispered once again "Things could have been better, you know? I should have know that you would never change" And she closed her eyes. I was speechless, i couldn't believe she was dead. Then the ambulance arrived and I wish i would have died as well.
When I got home, I thought "man, look what you've done... she's dead because of you, you must change, you have to do better with your life, you can't live like this, you'll end up worse than your mom or her" And this time, I did listen to that voice. I started college and I'll become a lawyer soon. I miss my girlfriend so much, but i know if she could say something now, she probably would say "I'm proud of you, you dared to change and your mom would be proud of you as well, we might be together some day, but for now, do the best you can"
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